Sunday, September 6, 2009

it's like riding a bicycle

First... i have just realized, no one in my family ever takes pictures of me!!
Clearly, i am the only one with camera in hand at all family functions.
I am the one who always remembers we need a picture (not just on an i-phone!) and I am always the one that remembers to plug something in to the charger ( granted,sometimes just under the wire!) so we get more than the first five minutes!
It became clear when i went to find a photo of me for this blog( in our massive collection of childhood firsts, school celebrations, family gatherings,new pet arrivals, new child arrivals etc. etc.)that the few pics of mom were basically blurs in the background at the back of the class, or carrying in the birthday cake.(I guess that's when somebody realized you cannot do both things at someone grabbed the camera!)
There are however, a multitude of shots of birthday cakes, kid decorated, with the words "Happy Birthday Mom", so i know they care... oh yea, i took those too!!!
No pics of MOM...whadupp???
consequently, my blog pic is of my three. (i could've posted some random publicity shot, an 8x10, or maybe the one of me playing a contortionist, folded into a guitar case, but i wanted something homey...very hard to find!!!)
Next family brou-haha i am insisting on my kodak moment!!

I'm still trippin' (dating myself!) about this whole blog business.
really, why?
why write a blog??
For me...
i've decided, i'm searching.
trying to revisit a journey i was once on.

There was a time in my life when all i wanted, was to be a writer and all i did, most of the time, was write.
Music mostly, journals alot, prose when the mood struck...a few short stories as well.
i was prolific (i thought) uncensored, motivated, stimulated..always a pen in hand, legal pads strewn, words and more words...notes and more notes.
now granted, there was alot of outside mojo going on in my younger helped.
alotta nicotine, and caffeine, and amphetemine (Sarah,if you're reading this...i can explain!!)
but also just a whole lot of love.
word love
music love
bold love...ballsy!

I stayed at my piano hours on end,wired, thinking it was all good, never giving a shit what anyone else thought, one way or the other...
i had things i wanted to say.
and they felt real and immediate...and heartbroken.
That was the thing, i always felt heartbroken back then and i needed to talk about it...i couldn't, really, so i wrote about it, and that's how i talked about it and , well maybe, that's why i slowly stopped...writing, i mean.
i got un-heartbroken.
had to.
all that stimulation took a turn...things got murky and i needed to dig myself out of a possible early grave (i'm so dramatic!!)
in the process, i dropped the broken heart (not completely, but in a less victimy kinda way)
and without all that stimuli (chemical as well as emotional) the written word got far away.

all that to say, i'm writing a blog so that i will write!
something, anything...
my husband is a writer..a poet, prolific, so amazing.
he writes movies and tv shows, and song lyrics, and plays and well... he writes!!!
he always says "writers, write".
they may think about it, they may plan how and when and where to do it,they may decide to start tomorrow again and again, but ultimately you must write to have written.
so, that's why when buddy Bob suggested i blog, i decided to take the plunge.
it's relatively benign, if anybody wants to read this they can...if not, so be it!!!

it's a safe place to rekindle.
it's a bit less frustrating then the hours of unfinished songs i have lying in bits and pieces on various recording devices...(can't seem to find the right writing tool...hmmm...keep writing!)
and who knows, maybe someone can relate, and they'll start doing something they've left off doing, not for lack of love, but becauce maybe they forgot how much they loved that something, and in so doing,forgot that they once knew how to do it.
it's like riding a bicycle...
i hope.


  1. I know, its hard to start a Blog, i tried it million of times and then after a couple of days i didnt know what to write about.

    It changed a few week ago anyway, i pushed myself to write something everyday ... and its working, and its a good feeling!!

    About pics, maybe you can post artistic pictures u take etc, sometimes what we see trough the eyes describes us better than a picture of ourselfs!

    Anyway, nice reading you ... everyone is right, you have the gift of writing! :)

    Kisses from Argentina!
    Noelia -

  2. You're right, and I needed that, so thank you!

  3. Oh I can totally grasp your writing. I used to love to write when I was younger. (i think the parents still have a couple of my stories i wrote) Sad when I think back to those days of writing about my life as a teenager........and now I have teenagers. Boys no less, 17 and 15.

    And as far as pictures.......oh lord I know what you mean. Seems I am always the one taking pictures.

    I think you have started out your blog very well. I enjoy reading it and learning about your thoughts. Looks like reading one of my own blogs. ha. Well,Have a beautiful Labor Day. And God bless you and your family.

  4. Good for you. I have been a freelance journalist for 13 years and just got back into writing fiction in the last few weeks myself. I'm challenging myself to write a short story a week and send it somewhere, anywhere, just so it's out in the world and at least one person I don't know has read it, even if that's just an editor who sends it right back stamped "This is crap - leave me alone." So best of luck to you. Can't wait for the second season of SoA. (Did you know Henry Rollins' first band was called S.O.A.?)

  5. There's air in your writing -- that's good. I can collapse under my own weight and often do.

    The doing is the thing, no matter what the pursuit. Each step informs the next and you don't learn the process, you don't grow the process unless you DO the process. Hard to believe it's that simple, but it is.

    And, of course, it isn't, too.

    I'm a visual artist, about your age, and my history is littered about my world in the things I've needed to say and the ways I've tried to say it.

    What I wanted to say changed a lot over the years ... often surprisingly ... but there finally came a time when the path led to the place I had been headed. I hadn't known where I was going, but I recognized it when I got there.

    But thank God for restless feet cause the road keeps going and changing.

    I wish you all the best in your journey to wherever you're heading and wherever else that may lead.

    It's the moving ...

  6. I saw the picture earlier and thought it was so cute! I'm always the one behind the camera too.

    I can definitely relate to the point of this entry. I've been blogging since I was 9 years old (a decade ago, jeeze!) and I'll admit that when I was younger, I created more drama for and out of myself than really existed, but I used to blog several times a day and wrote a lot of fictional short stories. Now that I've fallen into a routine of school-work-home, I'm lucky if I get to spit out an entry once a week.

    Although recently I have been looking into getting back into visual arts. I pretty much stopped drawing or doing digital paintings when my grandfather died two years ago because it felt like I had no one to impress anymore, which I knew wasn't true. For now, I am trying to get back into self-teaching piano.

    I'm glad you're blogging, you have a lot of thought and inspiration to offer as well as provoke.

  7. that;s a heck of a blog. love the heart speak.
    keep it coming...

  8. Katey, Love you on SOA and looking forward to future posts!

  9. Katey,

    Wow! I find your writing so honest, open, and warm. This is exactly what comes through in your music and your acting so I'm not surprised. Your passion and integrity just shine through everything you do. The heartbreak you speak of: you have faced so much but look what you have done with it! I love your authenticity!

    I am a visual artist using the journaling process for self-discovery and inspiration. It's fun if I can silence that inner critic!

    I'm excited to be coming down for your performance on September 26th!! Hope to meet you in person.

    Looking forward to more of your posts.

    Wishing you and your family much happiness.


  10. That was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for sharing it.

  11. makes no difference if anyone gets it...just to get it out there is theraputic and sometimes it makes sense to that one person who is searching for something, a light in the darkness that is their life...sometimes just to know that someone out there that we look up to and admire (like you) is down to earth in many ways just like us and thats what we need to give us that get up and go to make through another day. are an example to many...

  12. Katey,
    Just wanted to say I think you're off to a great start. I look forward to keeping up with your blog. I love your work, especially SoA. Keep juggling!

  13. Katey,

    I love your blog! It's the thing Ive been missing in my life. Now Ive even started my own! Please follow me, it would be awesome! I enjoy learning about your life and reading your stories!


  14. Katey - thanks for being a great role model. Juggling the roles we give ourselves - parent, provider, writer - and to find balance between the things we love to do and the things we need to do (and love, but sometimes don't love that much). I believe in the multiple benefits of writing every day - the catharsis, the practice, the self-discovery. Good for you, and good for all of us who choose to write with the door open.

  15. Thrilled to have been invited into an open mind! ; }

  16. Can't wait to read more.. I used to blog but haven't written anything since november 08.. everything in my head started being about how shitty i was with everything - people, places, things.. no one wants to hear about that so i stopped.. lol.. I will be picking up and moving to a new country next month so life will be full of new experiences again.. looking forward to it..

  17. Hehe I know the feeling, I think I take more pictures than anyone in my family :) And I am rarely on those pictures! It's mostly my 2-year old son who gets on pictures. But that's ok!

    Have a continued pleasant day, Katey!

  18. A blog is just what you make of it. If your writing comes from the heart, who cares if other people think it's good or not. FWIW, I like your blog.

    You will have moments where you can spend all day blogging, other moments where you will go weeks and weeks without and update. It's your blog, just don't become a slave to it. Everyone has their own reasons for blogging...I do it so my head doesn't explode.

    As for pics, I'm also the one holding the camera, but I hate having my pictures it's win-win.

    Love you, love your show.

  19. Katey, you seem to have a knack for the written word. I just wanted to tell you that you are one of the finest actresses working today. You have an emotional depth on SOA that no leading lady in Hollywood can touch. This is your role, hands down. Gemma is one of the baddest women on TV yet you give her some very powerful likability. Your blogs awsome. Keep posting and we'll all keep reading!

  20. The word. The first creation ever by the Creator. To write is life.

  21. Almost a decade ago, being a working mom, wife, sister, friend, I learned to blog my frustrations, rather than vent at my close family and friends. Then I learned, after going back and reading my entries, that it was ME, not them that was going through hard times. Blogging, journal-ling, or dear diary was a great guide to see where I was, and have been.

    Later in life, still the working wife, mom and sister, I learned to channel the good and knowledge in my writing. So, I started more of a public blog. Then I was given insight. I noticed I get some comments that help me get through stuff faster.

    I still have a super private blog that I rant and rave on, but I find myself more blogging for the good.

    As for blogging burnout, it will happen. But there is no timer on a blog. You can always choose to write on your timetable. I never want blogging to be a chore.

    When I don't feel like posting a blog, I visit my friends' blogs. I have a page full of links to click, visit, and comment on.

    Enjoy your many gifts of life, love, music, and your writing!


  22. Well it seems your doing a great job, what your writing is interesting enough that we are following your blog:) after reading this I went and looked in the old photo album my mom left me and to my dismay it was the nearly the same situation. Besides pictures from when she was younger or pictures from when us kids moved out she was always in the background somehow, funny how I just now realized it:)

  23. Dear Katey,

    I will do nothing else but encourage you to pursuit writing.
    The opening was very light, you started with some humour which I absolutely adored and it made me giggle (I'm sure we would all like to see the pic of you playing a contortionist folded into a guitar case I might add) and how true by the way! In my family it is me, the kid who always brings the camera but I can feel you. You probably wouldn't find any pics of my mom, either. Since I usually take pics of plants, landscapes and myself. So my mom complains!

    After the light intro it became more serious and deep. I love how you're being kind of analytical about things. Reminds me of myself in a way actually.
    I also thought of starting a blog and write about my thoughts, about how I see things, the world, but you know I always think about that I'm not a very popular kid and all so who on Earth would read my blog? Also, a 15 year old girl obiously doesn't have such a life experience that would be interesting to share. Maybe when I'll be older.

    But you definitely have to continue blogging, Katey! Don't you ever stop! You have a gift and you may use it as well!

    Much love,

  24. I always tell my hubby that if something happens to me, there are no pics of me for the kids to remember me by. I am always behind the camera! (Kidding for sure though. I plan to live til I'm super old):) Love the blog, love your show, love you. Your blog is great - so inspiring. I haven't blogged since June, you make me want to start up again. I hope you keep at it; its great!

  25. Welcome to the blogosphere. When I first started blogging over 5 years ago I became friends with a group of aspiring authors. We've kept in touch over the years through our blogs, and now all of us are multi-published,and most of us best selling as well. It's a great way to keep in touch with other writers and readers alike. I'm sure you'll love it!

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  27. Katey, I think a lot about writing for you, and I hope that even if you don't get to blog here, that you find time to write about your life and journey, even if you keep that private. Of course your fans want to read what you have to say, but for me the journey of writing has been about me, and the close people that I have met on the way. There are times that I get a blog comment from Janet, who is a working mom in Boston, that I have never met, that helps me get though the day. Or Philip the starving artist in Colorado who goes to open mic mights, and shares videos with his readers. I find that connecting on the blog level, can be connecting more on a human level. I share my hopes, ideas, and others I find a bond with that does the same. Hope to read more from you, but if not, I am glad to add my two cents!

  28. Cannot wait for your next installment, you are such an amazing actress and singer. Such a pleasure to have found that you write too!

  29. So what are you working on this haitus? I saw you on the View, wish I could have asked the questions. A longer segment would have been nice too, but one thing cool was that they asked about your music. Look forward to seeing 'Helen' on Lost next year but hope we see you in something before then. Come on girl drop a short catch up blog for us.

  30. Katey,
    Stumbled across your blog folling a thread from one of your followers. Glad I did. Creativity just comes from within, the writing, music, acting just comes. There's a calling in some of us who just can't stop themselves. For 25 years I did professional advertising photography to pay the bills and fine art photography to feed the soul. After all that time, I got happens, and I gave that image making all up and went back to writing. Have two manuscripts done and got a hold of an editor who said: "your writing is so visual...I can see exactly what you are writing about." Now I'm editing a series of Thought-Poems by this brilliant person. His vision is so temporal that it takes two or three readings to absorb his thougths, but then: WHAM! The point being (and I do have one) is: write about what your heart tells you to in a way that readers feel your heart's sounds. Play your music so that the listener feels your soul; even if it's 'chopsticks'. (remember what John Coltrane did for "Sumertime"?)I wish you luck, joy and peace and pleasure in this process.

  31. Lovely expressions my Cal Arts sistah!!!

  32. Hello beautiful Katey. I totally agree about photos. I am hardly ever in that many photos either. You need to be in front of the camera for sure. Start taking photos and put them on Flickr. That is THE website for professional photographers, celebrities, and other folks. As the owner of a small video production business in Sarasota, I'm trying hard to get in front of the camera a little more. Loved reading your blog after finding you on Facebook. Continued success and happiness Katey. All the best.

  33. think you're off to a great start. I look forward to keeping up with your blog :)